DUNGEONS & ASTRONAUTS

Double smash patty, American cheese, caramelized onions, DNA42 classified sauce, brioche bun. The gravitational pull of this burger is measurable. We checked.

Triple smash patty, cheddar, bacon, jalapeños, mission control sauce. Named after the mission that had a problem. This burger does not have a problem.

Double smash patty, gorgonzola, crispy onion rings, truffle mayo. A labyrinth of flavors. Unlike Theseus, you won't want to find the exit.

Single smash patty, Swiss cheese, mushroom duxelles, arugula, black garlic aioli on dark charcoal bun. Beyond this point, nothing escapes. Especially your diet.

Plant-based double smash patty, vegan cheddar, pickles, mustard, shredded lettuce. It tastes like a burger but contains no animal products. If this doesn't keep you up at night, you're not thinking hard enough.

Grilled chicken, roasted peppers, feta, tzatziki, mixed greens in a flour tortilla. A four-dimensional flavor experience compressed into three-dimensional form. You're welcome.

Spicy pulled pork, coleslaw, pickled red onion, chipotle BBQ. Capable of accelerating your lunch break to faster-than-light speeds.

Falafel, hummus, pickled turnips, tahini, fresh herbs, chili oil. It assumes whatever form your hunger requires. Currently: wrap. Previously: ancient Middle Eastern legacy.

6 pcs. Classic buffalo, mild. For those who are new to this quest. No judgment. Actually, a little judgment.

6 pcs. Korean gochujang glaze, sesame, scallions. A well-balanced attack that deals significant flavor damage.

6 pcs. Carolina reaper hot sauce, honey, lime. This is the final boss. There is no save point. Sign the waiver.

6 pcs. Crispy cauliflower bites, choice of any wing sauce. They didn't choose this life. But they're surprisingly good at it.

Seasoned fries with parmesan dust and truffle oil. We call it stardust because "parmesan dust" sounded less poetic. It's still parmesan dust.

Beer-battered onion rings with smoky chipotle dip. One ring to rule them all. Actually, eight. We counted.

Fried mozzarella bites with marinara impact crater dip. They entered our kitchen at high velocity and emerged golden.

Loaded nachos: tortilla chips, cheddar sauce, jalapeños, pico de gallo, sour cream. We launched it. It came back with data. And cheese.

Warm flatbread with garlic butter, herbs, and a trio of dips: hummus, tzatziki, spicy nduja. It's been trapped in the dungeon. You're rescuing it.

Strawberry, raspberry, lemon, sparkling water. Restores 50 HP. Results not clinically verified.

Blueberry, lavender, butterfly pea flower, tonic. Changes color when you add the citrus. It's chemistry, not magic. Fine, it's a little magic.

Ginger, turmeric, lemon, honey, cayenne, sparkling water. For when your party needs a long rest but you only have time for a short one.

Chocolate, espresso, salted caramel milkshake. Contains 95% of the universe's missing flavor. Scientists are baffled.